On a walk tonight, my wife Michelle and I got into a lively discussion that started when I said, "I wish people bragged more." Now, before you immediately take her side and assume I’m advocating for arrogance or one-upmanship, hear me out. This week’s thoughts are all about what I call "The Bragging Conundrum."
In my view, life isn’t a zero-sum game where there’s only one winner. I believe there’s plenty of room for everyone to win, even if our wins look different. Sure, not everyone’s victories are on the same level, but that’s perfectly okay. In fact, it’s that variety that in part makes life amazing. Let me give you an example: For one person, winning might mean sacrificing career growth for family time and proudly making it to their 50th wedding anniversary. For someone else, winning could mean focusing on building an incredible business, even if they never married. Both are valid, both are wins, and both should be celebrated.
This brings me back to the idea of bragging—the kind I wish we did more of. I want friends who are excited to tell me about their successes and the successes of their loved ones. Tell me about the hard work your kids put in to earn a spot on the team, become captain, or make the honor roll. Share the story of how you put in extra effort or came up with an innovative idea at work and saw it pay off. These are the moments that deserve to be shared, not hidden.
Michelle’s concern, and it’s a valid one, is that not everyone is in the same place of success. Talking about your wins might unintentionally make others feel bad if they’re struggling or haven’t experienced similar success. I completely understand that perspective, and it’s one of the reasons this is such a conundrum. But personally, I struggle with the idea of suppressing joy simply because others might not be in the same spot. Isn’t there value in sharing our happiness, our wins, and our stories of overcoming challenges?
A good friend of mine, Scott Barkley, is a perfect example of how this works in real life. Scott is an incredibly talented guy with a great family. He also happens to work for a direct competitor. Now, while we can’t connect as often as I’d like due to our busy schedules and the fact that we’re in the same industry, when we do catch up, I’m thrilled to hear about his successes—whether it’s his kids achieving something awesome or his company’s continued growth. It doesn’t lessen my achievements or those of my company just because Scott’s doing well. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I feel excited and motivated by his success, and I’m genuinely happy for him.
So where does this leave us? Here’s what I think: We should celebrate our successes and the successes of others, without shame or hesitation. Life isn’t a competition where only one person gets to take home the trophy. There’s enough room for all of us to shine in our own ways. And yes, while it’s important to be sensitive to others who may be struggling, that doesn’t mean we should hide our joy. Instead, we should use our successes to lift each other up, to encourage and inspire, rather than to compete or compare.
That leads me to this week’s challenge… Be proud of your achievements, big or small. Share your successes with your friends and family, and encourage them to do the same. Let’s create a culture where we celebrate each other’s victories and where success, in all its forms, is something to be shared and enjoyed by everyone. And if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone’s good news, celebrate with them wholeheartedly.
I’m thankful you chose to come to work today, that you took the time to read this, and that you’re part of what makes this world amazing.
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