Thursday Thoughts... Life Minus Envy

I came across a quote by comedian Jimmy Carr this week that I haven’t stopped thinking about:

“No one had a hot shower until 50 years ago. There’s been 100 billion people, ever. We are in the top, top percentile in terms of luck. We’re living like kings. And yet, life has never been objectively better and subjectively worse—because the nature of humanity is our desires are mimetic. How happy are you? Well, it’s your quality of life minus envy. That’s how happy you are.”

If you’re reading this on a phone or computer, sitting comfortably, sipping coffee, or just enjoying the day, you’re among the luckiest people who’ve ever lived. Objectively speaking, we’ve won the historical lottery.

Yet, how often do we feel restless, unsatisfied, or start comparing our lives to someone else’s highlight reel?

I read some statistics recently that made me pause. In 2023, approximately 18% of U.S. adults reported being diagnosed with depression or currently receiving treatment for it. According to Gallup News, that's a significant increase from 2015, when only about 10.7% of adults reported the same.

Against that backdrop, Carr’s point about happiness being “quality of life minus envy” tough to deny.

Because envy always whispers that someone else has it better:

·         Someone else’s job seems easier.

·         Someone else’s family looks happier.

·         Someone else’s house is bigger.

·         Someone else has more followers, better vacations, easier kids, nicer cars, or fewer problems.

Envy robs us. It tells us what we have isn’t enough, shifting our attention away from joy in our own lives toward something we think we’re missing.

I don’t know why being grateful can seem like a challenge, but for some reason that’s the case. Luckily gratitude flips that script. It reminds us to pay attention to what we already have. It lets us enjoy where we are… right here, right now, in our own story, not someone else’s.

Like most things, this idea isn’t new. Luke 16:10 says:

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.”

Proverbs 14:30 drives the point home even further:

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

There’s wisdom in appreciating and caring for what we already have, knowing that more responsibility, more opportunity, and more satisfaction often come from contentment with what’s already ours. I can say without question that has been the case in my life, and looking back, I’m thankful things have played out that way.

At the heart of all of this is our mindset. I read a Jon Acuff book titled Soundtracks a while back, and it had the reader do an exercise of saying “good things are always happening to me” out loud every time something good (no matter how insignificant) happened—like catching a green light, or having enough toothpaste for one more brushing. I remember doing this for a few weeks (to Michelle’s annoyance), and I was amazed at the mood boost it gave, not only me, but others who heard me saying it.

That Leads Me to This Week’s Challenge…

Pay attention to envy this week. Where is it quietly stealing your joy?

Instead of looking outward at someone else’s life, focus inward. Identify three things you’re truly grateful for… right now, today. Then put some effort into seeing the good things that are always happening. Say it out loud and share your joy.

Life isn’t a zero-sum game. It isn’t richer because someone else’s seems poorer. It’s richer when you genuinely appreciate your own story: family, friends, successes, failures, hot showers, simple comforts, and all.

I’m grateful you took the time to read this, for choosing to work, and for being part of what makes this world better.