Don't Go Back

I chewed tobacco for nearly 16 years, but when Michelle and I got married, I promised that I would quit when we had kids. I tried and failed a few times in anticipation of Mikaela’s birth, but I finally achieved the goal in February of 2010, six months after she was born. Quitting was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and Michelle moved a step closer to sainthood for putting up with me.

All of the withdrawal symptoms were in play for weeks, and to make matters worse, I actually liked chewing. That made me want to give in even more. But like most things in life, your desire to change has to be greater than your reason to remain the same. My promise to Michelle and the future we were building together was enough to make that change stick.

Something people don’t always realize is that the cravings never really leave. Even now, years later, I still get them. And since I’m around it most days, it can still be a challenge. But when I remember how much I enjoyed it… and how terrible it was to quit… it keeps me from ever giving it another try. Not even a little bit. Because I know myself, and I know that one “little bit” would lead right back to being an addict.

A couple of weeks ago, I spent some time with a gentleman who was talking about the same battle. He had quit for three years but gave in and decided to try it again “just a little.” That was four years ago, and he’s been hooked ever since. Hearing that story hit me hard because it reminded me how easy it is to slip back into something you thought you left behind, and that’s the genesis for this week’s thoughts.

Something that I believe is key to remember is that not every change we’ve made in life was born out of a mistake. Sometimes it’s just about timing. Life shifts. Circumstances change. The path that made sense in one season may not fit in the next. The key is acknowledging why you made the changes. What caused you to step forward, find new freedom, or build a better version of yourself? Those are the changes to protect.

If you’ve fought to leave something behind that wasn’t healthy for you, stay focused on your why. Remember what pushed you to change and what you’ve gained because of it. Growth doesn’t come from shame, it comes from conviction, courage, and consistency.

And if you’re still in the fight, don’t let one step back convince you you’ve lost ground. Grace is real. I believe it because I’ve seen it in my own life and because my faith tells me it’s offered freely. As a follower of Jesus, I know that all fall short and that grace is abundant. The right response to grace isn’t guilt, it’s gratitude. It’s learning from where you’ve been and using that perspective to help someone else up, not look down.

So if you see someone struggling, show them that same grace. Offer encouragement, not judgment. And if it’s you in the middle of the battle, don’t give temptation an inch. Hold your ground. Burn the ships. Keep moving forward toward the life you worked so hard to build.

That Leads Me to This Week’s Challenge… Think about the positive changes you’ve made in your life, the ones that made you healthier, stronger, or closer to who you want to be. What helped you make that change? Why did it matter? Spend time this week revisiting that why. And if someone around you is in the fight, reach out and remind them they don’t have to face it alone.

We can’t change our past, but we can protect our future. Hold fast, stay focused, and don’t go back.

I’m thankful you took the time to read this, for choosing to work, and for being part of what makes this world amazing.