Thursday Thoughts: When the New Wears Off

A little while ago, I started a small tradition. When I attend a wedding, I set a reminder in my phone for the couple’s six-month anniversary. On that day, Michelle and I send them a letter, a game, and a bottle of wine.

Why six months you ask? Because that’s about the time when the new starts to wear off.

The thank-you notes are written. The honeymoon photos have been posted. The dress is cleaned and tucked away. And life, as it tends to do, settles back into routine. That six-month mark is usually when real marriage begins, not the celebration, but the day-to-day building of something lasting.

It’s not that anything’s wrong. It’s just that the sparkle of "new" naturally fades. The same is true in so many areas of life: our jobs, our friendships, our health, our faith, even our goals. The exciting “new” part is fun, but the real reward comes from the work we do after the excitement wears off.

That’s why I love the rhythm of sending that six-month gift. It’s a reminder for both them and me that great things require intentionality. In the letter we send, we talk about three core pursuits that have shaped our marriage: pursuing God first, pursuing each other second, and pursuing our goals third. When we’ve pursued those with intention, and kept them in the right order, we’ve seen growth. And when we’ve neglected them, we’ve felt the strain.

Michelle and I aren’t perfect, we’ve had plenty of seasons where life felt chaotic, communication broke down, and the to-do list seemed to take over. But as we approach our 20th anniversary this summer, I can say with confidence: staying intentional has been worth it. The pursuit has been worth it. The moments where we chose to keep showing up are worth every bit of the effort.

Here’s a fact: new doesn’t stay new. Whether it’s your relationship, your job, or your big idea, what really matters is what you do when it starts to feel familiar. Will you still invest? Will you still pursue? Will you choose to keep watering what you planted?

I’m not writing this as someone who’s figured it all out. Far from it. I’ve coasted before. I’ve let things slide. I’ve waited for motivation that never showed up. But I’ve also seen the power of staying committed when things aren’t shiny anymore, and it’s always worth it.

That Leads Me to This Week’s Challenge…

Think about something in your life that doesn’t feel new anymore. Maybe it’s your marriage. Maybe it’s your job. Maybe it’s a commitment you made to your health or your faith. What would it look like to intentionally reinvest in it this week?

You don’t have to make a grand gesture. Just do one thing to show it still matters. One act of pursuit. One step of intentionality. And if you’re married, especially if you’re past that six-month mark, maybe this is your sign to plan a date night, write a note, or just pause to say, "I’m still choosing you."

If this week’s Thursday Thoughts resonated with you, I’d love it if you’d like, share, or pass it on. I’d be honored to earn your trust, your friendship, or even your business.